During the week I started art journaling, I lost more weight than I did in the last 2 months combined. I have been at it! Art journaling...it is better than Jenny Craig! Maybe I will do a silly commercial when I fit into something sexy? Or not. I am not dieting or exercising, I just finally found something that occupies the obsessive part of my brain that was occupied by food for most of my life. I don't know if it will continue to do so when I get a job and I start getting back into a normal routine, but this is a jump start that I sorely need.
For much of my life, I have had disordered eating habits. due to insecurity about my weight, about my relationships, about my life, in general. My wishy washy health hasn't been kind to me either. It is difficult to fix a healthy meal and clean up when in the middle of a migraine or when you feel like you have the flu, even when you do not. The frequency of my health problems have helped contribute to very unhealthy habits. I have had tons of therapy, so I am better able to manage a lot of my baggage and deal with the setbacks I will undoubtedly have when my health problems kick in, but I still have trouble sustaining any meaningful weight loss. I kept reverting back to the binge eating and junk food.
I am conscious that this may not be something that continues to drive me in a way that distracts me from eating, but it is a start. If I can make it last at least a month, I have the chance at making this a habit. This seems to be the more pressing habit that will help me lose weight. In time, sooner rather than later, I will start exercising again. There is hope in my life again, a hope that is attached to real possibility. When I hit 40 last year, I decided the theme of my 40s would be "Getting my shit together." It is actually happening, and I like it!
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